if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.