Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Why are handjobs necessary in class?

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  (651): Why are handjobs necessary in class? http://tfl.nu/p9nw
  Replies (28) Good night (2510) Bad night (774)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"

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  (773): you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE" http://tfl.nu/hmmg
  Replies (17) Good night (6501) Bad night (1159)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.

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  (614): just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use. http://tfl.nu/fu5v
  Replies (25) Good night (4205) Bad night (1221)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out

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  (304): tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out http://tfl.nu/97pi
  Replies (9) Good night (1299) Bad night (5607)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom

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  (716): Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom http://tfl.nu/6fnb
  Replies (3) Good night (2268) Bad night (938)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god

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  (814): When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god http://tfl.nu/yzjp
  Replies (3) Good night (1858) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!

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  (708): That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed! http://tfl.nu/bhfj
  Replies (5) Good night (1918) Bad night (706)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Do you have any booze?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...

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  (817): Do you have any booze? (214): Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl... http://tfl.nu/sb57
  Replies (9) Good night (2399) Bad night (688)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;

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  (719): I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now; http://tfl.nu/0kbl
  Replies (7) Good night (569) Bad night (1506)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving

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  (620): Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/x9wv
  Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."

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  (617): I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..." http://tfl.nu/x7hv
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (450)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."

  (239): View more from Florida

  I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.

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  (412): wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends." (239): I hope you know that means regardless of their gender. http://tfl.nu/t7uy
  Replies (3) Good night (919) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"

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  (703): Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole" http://tfl.nu/nmmt
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?

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  (615): Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH? http://tfl.nu/vznl
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.

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  (502): When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him. http://tfl.nu/amc8
  Replies (1) Good night (976) Bad night (203)

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