Texts From Last Night

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  (789): View more from

  If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.

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  (789): If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days. http://tfl.nu/hp74
  Replies (26) Good night (5964) Bad night (1099)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill

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  (561): next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill http://tfl.nu/y326
  Replies (12) Good night (689) Bad night (3048)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.

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  (484): bad idea #53- masterbating while on period. http://tfl.nu/6cye
  Replies (80) Good night (976) Bad night (7033)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv

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  (775): suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv http://tfl.nu/ew0a
  Replies (19) Good night (3097) Bad night (832)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks

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  (616): The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks http://tfl.nu/03z3
  Replies (28) Good night (3602) Bad night (657)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever

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  (231): Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever http://tfl.nu/plkd
  Replies (1) Good night (5080) Bad night (990)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."

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  (847): well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms." http://tfl.nu/dhb2
  Replies (12) Good night (6141) Bad night (1055)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.

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  (573): He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady. http://tfl.nu/txg0
  Replies (6) Good night (2636) Bad night (657)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.

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  (802): He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass. http://tfl.nu/9wu9
  Replies (23) Good night (2682) Bad night (928)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?

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  (228): I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL? http://tfl.nu/0gju
  Replies (9) Good night (1369) Bad night (626)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.

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  (636): I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB. (636): I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE. http://tfl.nu/x3bf
  Replies (8) Good night (760) Bad night (2012)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU

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  (860): I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU http://tfl.nu/1s1y
  Replies (3) Good night (916) Bad night (466)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.

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  (314): That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu. http://tfl.nu/ssef
  Replies (7) Good night (812) Bad night (549)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time

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  (603): You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time http://tfl.nu/9oit
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (338)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash

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  (847): Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash http://tfl.nu/hj9z
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (401)

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