Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Man I wish I had been there

(314): View more from Missouri

Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.

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(314): Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours. (1-314): Man I wish I had been there (314): Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again. http://tfl.nu/g53a

Replies (11) Good night (2784) Bad night (652)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window

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(501): Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window http://tfl.nu/m081

Replies (12) Good night (1042) Bad night (2900)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination

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(973): hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination http://tfl.nu/nh5d

Replies (17) Good night (925) Bad night (3740)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

it was like fucking gandolphs beard

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(405): it was like fucking gandolphs beard http://tfl.nu/vnqc

Replies (30) Good night (1030) Bad night (6863)
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(620): View more from Kansas

She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever

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(620): She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever http://tfl.nu/3n5f

Replies (26) Good night (5481) Bad night (1287)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.

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(416): Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer. http://tfl.nu/oqpc

Replies (6) Good night (2075) Bad night (1297)
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(618): View more from Illinois

She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.

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(618): She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover. http://tfl.nu/cpec

Replies (13) Good night (4198) Bad night (1044)
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(254): View more from Texas

It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.

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(254): It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway. http://tfl.nu/k2oc

Replies (8) Good night (1239) Bad night (3188)
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(206): View more from Washington

I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

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(206): I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?" http://tfl.nu/2uiv

Replies (22) Good night (1118) Bad night (3729)
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(561): View more from Florida

She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.

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(561): She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess. http://tfl.nu/v7az

Replies (5) Good night (2404) Bad night (1013)
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(443): View more from Maryland

i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country

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(443): i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country http://tfl.nu/m3r6

Replies (7) Good night (2293) Bad night (648)
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(571): View more from Virginia

So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock

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(571): So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock http://tfl.nu/1xfu

Replies (3) Good night (1640) Bad night (856)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.

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(573): Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them. http://tfl.nu/c182

Replies (8) Good night (917) Bad night (407)
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(256): View more from Alabama

No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.

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(256): No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you. http://tfl.nu/nxd6

Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (273)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.

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(256): Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants. http://tfl.nu/myfs

Replies (2) Good night (832) Bad night (530)

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