My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV