Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  return my video game

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  (989): return my video game http://tfl.nu/7gzq
  Replies (14) Good night (958) Bad night (2098)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  How drunk are you??

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm flawless.

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  (860): How drunk are you?? (732): I'm flawless. http://tfl.nu/mygo
  Replies (8) Good night (2253) Bad night (600)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"

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  (713): eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae" http://tfl.nu/afr2
  Replies (7) Good night (743) Bad night (3342)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.

  (585): View more from New York

  Aren't divorce parties fun?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  You and I have very different definitions of fun.

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  (585): She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow. (585): Aren't divorce parties fun? (1-585): You and I have very different definitions of fun. http://tfl.nu/2zlr
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (2720)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.

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  (727): I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was. http://tfl.nu/ul38
  Replies (14) Good night (4543) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"

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  (478): yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way" http://tfl.nu/67ib
  Replies (8) Good night (4525) Bad night (774)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener

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  (647): she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener http://tfl.nu/wmbx
  Replies (22) Good night (4034) Bad night (1902)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle

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  (919): my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle http://tfl.nu/ki3d
  Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (2631)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....

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  (814): Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly.... http://tfl.nu/m1mg
  Replies (6) Good night (1172) Bad night (1765)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.

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  (941): Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil. http://tfl.nu/r5gy
  Replies (1) Good night (1948) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.

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  (609): Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel. http://tfl.nu/x8kg
  Replies (24) Good night (971) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.

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  (254): I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here. http://tfl.nu/xtpc
  Replies (18) Good night (396) Bad night (1982)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids

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  (435): Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids http://tfl.nu/id5c
  Replies (13) Good night (1159) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair

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  (517): It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair http://tfl.nu/cxxw
  Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.

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  (330): the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica. http://tfl.nu/9g1v
  Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (259)

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