So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
