so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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