She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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