idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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