what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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