I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
