i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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