the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
