I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
