Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
ttyl tear gas
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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