I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
