WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
