:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
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I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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