You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Randomize
