You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
