I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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