i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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