The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
