you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
