I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
