I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
