dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
