The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
