i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
