Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
