I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize