I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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