HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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