ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
