Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
