Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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