I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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