using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
