Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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