I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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