You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
