Me. At least after what I've been through.
She said her name was "party"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize