How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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