Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
