Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize