Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
