Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
