I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Randomize
