Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Me too!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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