If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
