Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
