Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
