Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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