I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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