If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Two words: nipple clamps
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