when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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