I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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