I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
