So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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