Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
