Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
