You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
