My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
