how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
