He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
God, I missed his penis.
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